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put it in your pantry with your cupcakes|04.21.03 I'm still not sure how comfortable I am letting everyone know that Sports Night turns me into a sniveling snot factory, but at the same time, it's almost a relief getting it off my chest. So I thought, why not write about more stuff I wouldn't talk about even if you asked? I can humiliate myself and you can be disgusted enough to take me off your buddy list. Good times all around, it'll be great. So, here goes.
I own no less than two Ace of Base albums.
One of the many unfulfilling and low paying jobs I've had was at a movie theater when I lived in Phoenix. One night after a showing of American Pie, I found a wallet with almost $300 in it. If the owner had come back right away there wouldn't have been a problem. But it took him a couple hours, which was plenty of time for me to think about how I was getting paid minimum wage to clean up popcorn, spilled drinks, vomit, and sometimes even spooge, and what an idiot fratboy jerk-off this guy was for carrying that much cash anyway. So I took the money, tossed the wallet, and played dumb when he came looking for it.
I am inexplicably attracted to Mariah Carey.
When I was five, I chased down a retarded kid, cornered him in a stairwell, and urinated on him. I really don't know why. That was the same year I pissed in my brother's Mountain Dew, and also thought it'd be funny to pee in my cousin's closet. And under his bed.
I haven't had sex in two years. Because I am male, and so is my ego, I feel that I must state for the record that I've probably passed up more opportunities to change that than I deserve to have had in the first place, but was unable due to nonreligious moral and/or legal reasons. Call me old-fashioned.
I'm sure there's volumes more, but I'm already having second thoughts about all this. So I think I'll call it a night and hope I remember to delete this when I wake up. previous|next |